Successful Stuttering 101

They have developed artificial intelligence that can read people’s lips better than a person can. José has been in stealth mode since he was 6 years old.

You can be good at anything you set your mind to, and that includes stuttering.

One day José met another stutterer. This person said to him, “I’m relieved. You stutter much worse than me.”

José replied, “Fuck you g. I stutter much better than you.”

José has since become competitive about his stuttering.

To gain an advantage, José recommends consuming copious amounts of alcohol as that can temporarily relieve a stutter. However, he is legally obligated to warn aspiring stutters to be prepared for the repercussions which may arise when their filter is removed. José is forbidden from drinking liquor as he is too dangerous when he’s not stuttering. Anti-doping agencies now frown upon professional stutterers who use alcohol as a performance-enhancing drug, but you can get away with it if you put vodka in your water bottle. Stay hydrated.

If you stutter, check out smooth speech and The McGuire Programme. José found them to be the most effective programmes. The latter includes two days of initiating conversation with strangers, followed by a public speech, and is a great way to ease out of the fear of speaking.